are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
