he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You've changed since you got that strap on
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
