so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
