The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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