ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
