You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
