Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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