she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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