After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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