I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
