3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
