it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
