I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
