she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think I died a long time ago.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
