I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
