i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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