I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
