he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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