next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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