Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
