Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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