508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
