guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
