I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
