So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
