So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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