Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
