You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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