Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
