dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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