If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We are all done wearing pants today
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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