Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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