i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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