My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
