bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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