people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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