So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
