we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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