At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
