where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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