I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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