CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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