FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
