You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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