Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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