Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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