He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
