Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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