careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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