Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
