i barfeds in our rink
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
