After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
