no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
